Today I went back in time and killed myself.
Now, this wasn't exactly my plan, and had I known I was going to actually kill myself, I never would have gone back in the first place. Live and learn, I guess.
Although, that right there is what ended up confusing me the most. Here I am, living and learning when, by all theories, I should be non-existent. If you kill your past, you have no future, right?
However, I'm getting ahead of myself and I'm afraid that even in the right order this story won't make much sense.
So to start at the beginning, we must start in the future which references the past and eventually leads to the present.
When I was younger, I was, as those news shows say, "on a road to destruction". You know the deal; smoking, drinking, wild sex, random acts of violence, all before I was 18. I was cock of the walk, king of the mountain, living by my own rules, and an arrogant little prick to boot.
One night after a particularly lewd party, I cause a car accident. Several car accidents, actually. Massive pile up. I was trying to cross an interstate at the time after I got fed up waiting for the light to change. Stupid, I know.
It was at that point I got my head together enough to turn my life around, to continue the news show theme. I didn't turn it around much, unless you consider being a janitor at a tech lab "turned around", but I'm in no position to be picky.
I was clean and free, but I still felt awful about what I'd done. I'd caused the deaths of eight people. I'd crippled three for life. I was never caught.
Until tonight. Rather, until that night.
I was supposed to be mopping the rats off the ceiling on the third floor, but instead I was up on the fifth floor sneaking into one of the labs after hours. All the good stuff was on floor five, and I was after the new time travel device the lab guys had been developing.
Nosing around the lab, I guess I must have found the device, because in a blink I found myself 17 years in the past. What's more, I noticed that I was half my age again. My hair was longer, my tattoos were back, my ears were pierced, and I actually felt young.
I was standing in a field on a cool night and the roaring of nearby car engines told me I was near the interstate. I looked over and saw myself, my younger--my more idiotic self, that is--trying to climb over the jersey wall.
"Hey, idiot!" I yelled, running up to him.
The idiot took one look at me, screamed, and tumbled backwards trying to get away.
"Shh, shut up, I'm trying to help you!"
"Wh--who are you? Satan? God?"
"No, I'm you from the future. If you get on that road, you'll cause a major accident. You'll kill eight people."
I suddenly heard the familiar clik of my switchblade being drawn as the idiot lunged at me, swinging wildly. I caught him by the arm and flipped him over the wall, all while pleading with him to calm down.
"You stay away from me, man," he warned, his eyes flashing wildly.
"Will you please listen?" I said, climbing over the wall.
He feigned left toward the wall, then darted to the right out into traffic.
"No!" I yelled.
I was too late, though, and I had to watch in horror as a moving van struck my past self at 80 miles an hour, painting the road red. The truck swerved wildly and smashed into a station wagon which flipped and landed on its hood. Cars immediately began to ram into each other behind it. I saw flames trying to escape the engine of the station wagon and reach the puddles of gas which had spread across the road. The road was quickly engulfed in a huge fire and thick black smoke forced its way into my mouth and nose, down into my lungs. I felt sick and heavy-headed, the terrible scene in front of me swirled and I stumbled back over the wall to pass out in the underbrush of a stretch of woods.
When I woke the previous night was a jumble, I remembered the car accidents and that I had caused it.
"I must have had too much to drink...or smoke or something last night," I said, rubbing my head. "That accident--that was my fault."
I made a vow to myself then and there, I had to get clean and no one would have to know about what I had done.
"Yeah, clean, get a job or something," I mumbled to myself, wandering off back to my house. I wasn't going to ruin my life any more.